So, it's Valentine's Day, and I'm quietly sad tonight. No, not because my guys are at basketball practice -- they took me to dinner and lavished me with love. I'm grateful for that.
But as Ben gave me a sweet, sweet kiss before scooting off with his dad, I couldn't help but think about another mom here in the Twin Cities who isn't getting a sweet sweet kiss from her 9-year-old son...because he died in her arms earlier this week.
Single mom Melissa Aryal picked up her son Monday night from day care. She relates that Devin was revved, because he had finished his homework at day care and was looking forward to a free night at home. I know how that goes... Ben really really celebrates when he doesn't have homework.
They live in Oakdale, a suburb in the eastern part of the Twin Cities metro. It's relatively quiet, doesn't get a lot of attention in the media, because it's solidly, quietly middle class. A lot like Brooklyn Park, where I live.
She turned onto a main drag and heard an unfamiliar noise, and her arm went numb. She looked down and saw blood and went into a grocery store parking lot to pull over and call 911. She turned to check on Devin -- just like I would in a similar situation -- and saw Devin slumped over.
Devin had been hit several times -- including once in the head. As Melissa screamed for help and scrambled over the seat to get to him, Devin joined the kids of Newtown, the students of Colombine, West Virginia Tech, Christine Taylor Green and a whole host of other children who have died as the result of senseless gun violence.
Devin liked math and science -- like Ben. Devin apparently was well liked by everyone -- like Ben. Devin wanted to be an astronaut. Ben wants a career in science too.
Devin was killed by a 34-year-old man, believed to have been carrying a 9-mm semi-automatic handgun, and was apparently carrying a great many rounds. We do not know much about him, other than his name. His public defender has requested a mental evaluation. DUH.
I am always grateful that I do not know what losing a child is like first hand. But I've had a front-row seat as my sister lost a child to an auto wreck, and I know a family who has suffered the loss of a son due to a hunting accident.
So, I am as familiar as I could possibly be without actually suffering a loss to how Melissa feels tonight. For days, I wept for the parents of Newtown. I still weep for them. But Devin's death has struck a chord for me that goes a great deal further than just mere sympathy.
I could have been Melissa Aryal. I was a single mom for a great many years. I have picked up a cheerful child from day care and headed home without paying too much attention to whoever is around me. I can imagine -- as horrible as it is -- the agony of turning and seeing my sweet boy slumped over and knowing that he will never celebrate a homework-free day again.
Now, depending on your particular viewpoint, you are now suspecting me of preparing to gore your particular ox. Second Amendment defenders are gearing up to bristle about how I'm going to advocate its destruction. Defenders of the First Amendment are watching to see if I'm going lambast our violent media culture. Mental health advocates in the crowd are thinking "oh boy, she's going to paint a wide brush about the mentally ill." The rest of you will shrug your shoulders and say, "well, we don't know what to do."
Truthfully, I'm in the "I don't know what to do" crowd. And, candidly, couldn't care less tonight. Talk to me next week and I may have another perspective. Tonight... tonight... tonight... while I count my blessings, I weep for Melissa, who has lost her beloved child. Maybe if we all stopped in the middle of things -- even the cheerful sentimentality of Valentine's Day -- and let ourselves feel another's pain, solutions might actually present themselves.
You can read about the shooting here.
